21 May 2012

My Kingdom for a Pen

I grabbed a pen to make a quick list of stuff I needed to do this morning, in between all the other stuff I needed to do this morning.  I was in a rush.  Not in the mood for all of the little annoying glitches that can cause my eyes to do that squirrel-y thing that usually only happens on cartoon characters.  And simply "grabbing a pen" doesn't happen in this house.  Here is my jar of pens:
Everything but one good, old-fashioned, well-working pen.

Roughly 95% of the pens in this jar do not work.  It's a veritable crap shoot whether I can hone in on a pen that works when pursuing one.  I could just use a pencil, but that would be way too easy.  Plus the pencil sharpener we have does this mysterious thing where the lead in the pencil breaks when you're sharpening it, but you don't know it's broken until you bear down to write.  That can make me blow a gasket. 

Unfortunately, I am famously guilty of the crime of putting defunct pens back into the jar rather than straight into the trash.  Probably the main reason for my pen-jar-grievances.  Maybe once I find a pen that works, I'll add "Weed Out Bad Pens from All Pen Jars in House" to my list of stuff I need to do.  And if I can't find one, I can always resort to the barely visible pink highlighter that never dries out, never disappears, but is too light to read and I inevitably end up using.  Every family has one, am I right?  Oh, and I should also probably stop buying pens from the budget bin at the dollar store.  You know, the ones that never work from the very start?  That I have a million of?  And are a large factor for this post?


  1. How does it happen that you have channeled my life when it comes to pens and pencils? Hundreds of pens and pencils here and not ONE to take down a message. That's it--you have done it. I am going to throw away the clunkers and break into some new stock of working pens!

    What worries is me why we keep these dysfunctional writing instruments. We are not even of the same generation!!!

  2. I recently cleaned out and painstakingly seperated pens, pencils, markers,higlighters, stupid mechanical pencils each into their own cups and actually threw away the bad ones. I do feel though that as I continue to grab one when needed they are again choosing not to work. I even tried keeping the pens all in the same direction hoping the ink flows properly. Still they choose to make me shake them as if I am mixing a cocktail (which would be preferred) and then to cause a blister as I rub them in a circular motion repeatedly on some random piece of junk mail and still, only get two letters written down before it decides to die and make me contntue to write in numerous color with other pens of the same diminished capacity. Thank you for allowing me to realize I am not the only crazy one who is completely irritated by a damn writing utensil :-) ~shannon~